DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in love with a boy who has been courting me for a long time, but we come from different religions.
In my faith, it’s important for my partner to join our church, and he initially agreed to attend with me. However, I’ve realized that his main reason for going is to be with me, not out of genuine interest in my beliefs.
Now I feel torn because I love him deeply, but I don’t want him to convert just for my sake. I want him to believe in my faith for his own reasons, not as a condition of our relationship.
Letting him go feels painful, but I also worry about the spiritual differences that could cause problems in the future.
Should I choose him and hope things work out, or is it better to let him go?
— Faith Conflict
DEAR FAITH CONFLICT: You seem to be getting what you asked for. You love this person, and he loves you enough to join your faith.
Obviously, it will take time for him to become fully immersed in your spiritual world. If you want to be with him, welcome him and have patience.
Will he ever be as ensconced as you? Who knows. But you can’t ask more of him than what he’s doing. He is making the effort to be in alignment with your values. Be grateful for that, and help him to find his comfort zone.
Also, be ready to accept that he may never be as involved as you. That may be just fine.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am still friends with my two high school besties.
One became a registered nurse and moved abroad for work, while the other is working in Dubai and enjoying a good life, even though she hasn’t finished college.
I have a master’s degree in business administration, but I’m currently unemployed and waiting for responses from the jobs I applied for. I’m also overweight and feeling like there’s no progress in my life.
What advice can you give me to avoid feeling jealous and instead be happy for what they have achieved in their lives?
— Stagnant Frustration
DEAR STAGNANT FRUSTRATION: Stop comparing yourself to your friends.
Each of you has your own life filled with potential and frustration. Their lives look exciting to you from the outside — and they may be. But your life is your own, and it is your job to design it as best you can.
It can be extremely challenging to stay positive when you are unemployed. It sounds like you are feeling stuck. To keep up your spirits and care for yourself, consider starting some kind of exercise routine.
Taking a walk each day could help clear your head and motivate your brain to think outside the box. What do you really want to do with your life? Think big and then write down ideas for manifesting those dreams. Give yourself a timeline for reaching goals. This can help you stay inspired in this space of uncertainty.
Do your best to drown out the noise of comparison. Focus on your potential, and talk to people who are your cheerleaders.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
