So, you think you’re ready to call Alabama home? Well, buckle up, buttercup—these 11 experiences will separate the tourists from the true locals. From dodging summer heat to embracing Southern hospitality, here’s your ultimate survival guide to becoming an Alabamian.
Eating a Whole Plate of Fried Green Tomatoes
You think you’ve had fried food, but have you really? Get ready to dive into a Southern delicacy that is as crispy and tangy as Alabama itself. If you make it through without a facial expression, you’re officially a local.
Surviving the Humidity in July
Nothing says “Alabama summer” like walking outside and instantly turning into a sweaty puddle of regret. If you can survive the humidity without spontaneously combusting, you’ve got what it takes to endure the heat—and you’ve earned your local stripes.
Attending a Football Game at Bryant-Denny Stadium
You don’t have to know the rules of football, but you’d better know how to scream “Roll Tide!” or “War Eagle!” with passion. Any hesitation here and you’ll be outed as a newbie faster than you can say “touchdown.”
Navigating a Rural Backroad at Night
Ever tried to drive on a winding, unlit country road in the middle of nowhere? If you can manage not to hit every pothole, squirrel, and the occasional rogue cow, you’re practically a local.
Going to the Alabama State Fair
Get ready for a few hours of fried food, questionable carnival rides, and the undeniable urge to take a selfie with a giant stuffed bear. If you leave without getting stuck on the Ferris wheel or with a regrettable food coma, congratulations—you’re an Alabamian.
Enduring the Mosquito Swarm
In Alabama, mosquitoes are more like a way of life than a nuisance. If you can get through a summer evening without being eaten alive, you’re a true local—bugs included.
Spending a Day at the Beach Without Getting Sand Everywhere
Sure, Alabama’s beaches are beautiful, but good luck keeping that sand off you. If you can spend an entire day at Gulf Shores without feeling like a walking beach, you’ve earned your spot in local history.
Savoring a Plate of BBQ Without Crying for Mercy
Alabama BBQ is not for the faint of heart. Whether it’s pulled pork or smoked chicken, if you can eat it without resorting to begging for milk or water, you’re officially a Southern BBQ pro.
Surviving the ‘Let’s Talk About Politics’ Conversation
Every local knows the drill: the minute you bring up politics, you better be prepared for some spirited (and often loud) discussion. If you can survive one of these debates without your blood pressure skyrocketing, you’re in.
Enduring the ‘Sweet Tea Test’
Sweet tea is a sacred beverage in Alabama, and locals can tell if it’s made correctly by just one sip. If you pass the test and don’t wince like you just tasted liquid sugar, you’re truly one of us.
Getting Lost in the Woods and Finding Your Way Back
Alabama’s forests are beautiful, but let’s face it—they can also be a bit confusing. If you’ve wandered off the trail and managed to find your way back without a GPS, you’re officially a local survival expert.
Well, there you have it! If you’ve tackled all these challenges, you’re no longer just visiting Alabama—you’re part of the family. Congratulations on surviving your initiation—now enjoy the sweet tea and roll with the tide!
