DEAR HARRIETTE: As a new mom to my precious 3-month-old, I’m experiencing a whirlwind of emotions, from joy to an overwhelming sense of isolation and loneliness.
While I adore my baby and cherish these early moments, I can’t help but miss my old social life and the freedom I used to enjoy. It feels like my friends have drifted away, caught up in their own busy lives, leaving me feeling disconnected.
When I tried to share my feelings with my sister, who has been married for 10 years without children, she misinterpreted my struggle. She said all sorts of things, suggesting that I’m ungrateful for the blessing of my baby and I do not deserve her.
It hurts deeply because I feel like my feelings are not valid.
I have no one else to ask for advice on how to fix these feelings to make them right. Any guidance you can provide would be immensely helpful.
— New Mom Blues
DEAR NEW MOM BLUES: Your sister may have underlying feelings of jealousy because she has not had a child. She clearly doesn’t understand your position, and she lashed out based on her experience.
You need to find like-minded people to talk to about your current situation. Consider a support group for new moms — online or in-person — where moms with similar challenges come together to share their wisdom and insights.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am writing to add to your advice to “Cyber Hazing,” the mother of a child being cyberbullied.
Based on my 20 years of experience teaching middle school, I strongly recommend that any parent in this situation report the incident to the school immediately. Even if the bullying started online, it will inevitably spill over into the school environment.
In my experience, cyberbullying disrupts learning, and most public schools enforce zero-tolerance policies for this reason, regardless of where the bullying began. Digital content is easily shared on campus, allowing the harassment to continue unchecked. Without adult intervention, not only does the bullying continue, but its severity also often escalates.
While no laws may have been broken yet, teens often don’t realize when their actions cross into criminal behavior. Reporting it now can prevent future incidents and educate the bullies and their parents on the serious legal consequences.
I’ve seen minors face life-altering repercussions, such as being added to the sex offender registry for inappropriate social media posts used to bully.
Although the bully’s well-being isn’t the main concern of a parent of a bullying victim, by reporting early, you can help stop the behavior before it becomes criminal — and ideally help the bully to change their ways. Ignoring the situation reinforces the idea that they can act without consequences.
Please report this to the school immediately. Based on my years of teaching, I can almost guarantee your daughter is not the bully’s only victim. Be an advocate for her and others by bringing it to the school’s attention right away.
— Report It
DEAR REPORT IT: Thank you for your insights. We must protect our children in every way that we can.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
