So, you think you can tell the difference between a true Alabama local and a tourist? Well, buckle up, buttercup! Whether you’re rolling through the cotton fields or passing through the local Waffle House, these 10 steps will help you spot the real deal faster than you can say “Roll Tide.”
They Speak Fluent “Y’all.”
If you hear “y’all” in casual conversation, it’s not a typo. A real Alabamian uses it like punctuation. If you say “you all” instead, they’ll just look at you like you’ve said something foreign. Y’all, it’s just easier.
They Can Tell You the Best BBQ Spot in Any County.
Ask an Alabama local where to get the best BBQ, and you’ll get a long-winded answer—complete with directions. They’ll throw in some family history, too. You’ll hear phrases like “Well, my cousin Jimmy’s place just off 65…” and you better be ready for some pitmaster secrets.
They Can Hold Their Own in a Porch-Sitting Contest.
The porch is sacred. If they’re sitting on one, they’re either talking to someone they’ve known for 30 years or just relaxing in peace with a sweet tea. Don’t try to out-sit them—they’ve been perfecting this skill since birth.
They Don’t Trust Any Water That’s Not From a Well.
Alabama locals know the best water doesn’t come from plastic bottles. It comes straight from a well, preferably one with a creek nearby. Bonus points if they give you a knowing look when they mention it.
They Know the Unwritten Rules of Tailgating.
Tailgating isn’t just a sport in Alabama—it’s an art form. A true local will have a flag, cornhole set, and 10-15 pounds of pulled pork ready by 9 a.m. for a 3 p.m. game. Don’t show up late or you’ll be grilled (pun intended).
They Can Name Every State Park and What’s Special About Each One.
Alabama has more state parks than you have excuses to visit them. The local knows each one by name and will have a tale or two about them, like that time they swam in the same lake as an alligator (and lived to tell the tale).
They Know How to Use a “Southern Exit.”
Forget about highway signs—locals know every “shortcut” that cuts across someone’s cousin’s farm. If you’re stuck behind a tractor, don’t worry; you’re in good hands.
They Own More Boots Than Regular Shoes.
Whether it’s work boots, cowboy boots, or boots for dancing, they’ve got ‘em all. Real Alabamians will wear boots to weddings, Sunday church, and the grocery store without batting an eye.
They Don’t Blink When It’s 100°F and Humid.
The heat doesn’t faze them—humidity, what humidity? They’ll be the ones in the garden at 3 p.m., just sweating and smiling, while you’re looking for shade and a cool drink.
They Know the Difference Between a “Bama” and a “Roll Tide.”
If you say “Bama” out loud in public, a real local will immediately correct you. It’s “Roll Tide,” not “Bama.” The second you say the wrong one, you’ll be publicly shunned… in the most polite way possible, of course.
So there you have it! The next time you’re in Alabama, look for these surefire signs to spot the locals. And remember, if you want to blend in, just relax, enjoy a glass of sweet tea, and always say “Y’all” like you mean it!
