Our Official Office Napper, Bailey Dog, woke up from her slumber to put together a list of funny dog tweets for you all to enjoy. Bailey is our newest collaborator and will be featured in the new Humour section of our site. Look for her weekly columns and sign here to receive email notifications of her posts.
If a burglar broke in, my dog would lick their face. But bubbles, on the other hand…
When assembling your dog, please read the instructions carefully.
I hate when someone makes an Instagram for their pet and then spells all the words wrong.
Either your dog is smart enough to set up, build & maintain a successful social media presence or he isn’t.
If you expect me to believe a dog did all this I think he can also spell “hungry.”
Me: *opens fridge*
Dog: you gonna finish that
There’s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it’s only lettuce 🙁
Plot twist: This time the dog opens the door and I run away.
wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?
me: They’re for the dogs
wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
me: They don’t know how
ME: *tiptoes quietly out of the house alone at 3am* *drives 20 miles into the countryside* *goes into a cave and walks a mile through a series of tunnels* *enters a lead-lined room* *quietly opens a packet of crisps*
MY DOG: *ears prick up*
Me: 47 MESSAGES IN UNDER 3 MINUTES?!
Genie: I told you wishing your dog could send you texts was a bad idea