B.C. dog owners share hilarious and heartfelt letters to their pups as they return to the office
Pet parents write messages to their dogs who find themselves home alone after almost 2 years of WFH – and the results are priceless.
As the world crawls back to some sense of normal, more and more people are returning to the offices they haven’t seen in over a year.
And that means more and more dogs – who were used to mom or dad working from home – are now by themselves. Confused canine empty nesters.
To make the transition smoother, our readers penned letters to their pups, spelling out the situation, easing the guilt trips, and laying down the laws of an unsupervised house.
Here are a few gems.
Nessa Palmer, Vancouver
“You don’t have to bark at every passing person – but you do you.”
Dearest Scruffball Doodle Pudding-Pop Finnegan,
Listen little buddy.
There are treats on the counter AND above the fridge. (I’m just sorry that you can’t reach them!).
Your dog bed, where you’ve watched me work since you moved in, is still beside the dining room table. I know you’ll probably be sleeping upstairs in the bathroom or under my bed, but remember that option IS available.
While I’m away at work, do your best to relax. You don’t have to bark at every passing person, child, or dog. But you do you.
And know this…it will be the greatest of joys that we will meet promptly at the front door. And your smiling little face, tilted to the side, looking up to me, is the image I’ll carry all day while we are apart.
Cathi Coutts, Sooke
“Please stop giving me that look.”
You know I love you more than I love most people. This is not about you, so please stop giving me that look. Someone has to bring home the kibble, and you are low on work experience and marketable skills.
Your cat brother is a pain in the ass, but you are bigger and he will back down if you just stand up for yourself. I believe in you.
Augusta Kramer, Langley
“Will you destroy dog bed number six?”
Dear Tig L’Assho,
It appears the time has come for you to set out on your own in the house. My heart aches as I think about returning to work and leaving you behind every day.
I am imagining what you will do while I am gone. Will you destroy dog bed number six? Will you hunt down my second pair of walking shoes and try to discover how they were made from the soles to the uppers? Will you once again try to untie all the knots on my knotted rug? It was so much fun catching you at it the first time.
Darling Tig you have been with me for four of your seven months of life and we have learned so much about each other. We now know the things we should and should not do to make our relationship stronger and I hope you remember every single one of those lessons when I close the door and leave you alone for the first time.
I love you dearly Tig and never want to return the letters “L” and “E” to the end of your second name.
So let’s see how this goes, baby.
Jill Maynard, North Vancouver
“I promise, we can play hide and seek once I’m settled.”
I know you are lonely now that we are all away during the day, but seriously, I don’t want to play the second I begin opening the front door. Don’t get me wrong, I love your enthusiasm and I definitely feel honoured that you want to share your blue chew toy with me, but I don’t really love the slime that drips off it.
Also, shoving it repeatedly into my leg is not going to get me ready to play any faster! Just give me a few minutes to get through the door and I promise, we can play hide and seek once I’m settled.
A. Parker, Burnaby
“You really need to stop yelling at the TV anytime a dog or horse is on the screen.”
My darling Kevin,
Please be good for your grammie while you are on vacation up north the next two weeks. It is not her fault that your mom is a bit neurotic and needs to tackle some life stuff. Grammie has promised to feed you your favourite breakfast, and give you lots of treats for being good. In reality she is giving you treats because you’re manipulating her with your cuteness. I know you hate walking, but buddy….you need to get some exercise, especially because I know you’re eating more than you are supposed to.
So try to go a few blocks without guilting her into carrying you the rest of the way home. We know you’re lying, you’re not tired….a tired puppy wouldn’t immediately run around the house with the zoomies after. If you think we’re not onto you, then you’re wrong.
You really need to stop yelling at the TV anytime a dog or horse is on the screen. The animals are not trying to get into the house. Also, let me clear….6pm is not bedtime, so don’t give them attitude because you’re ready for bed at 6 and are being bossy. Other than that….just know I miss you so very much and I love you. Elissa Morrisette, Vancouver